the adventures of gold and silver
by Iba
Summary: just two boys having a good time. in bed.
1. where is crystal?

Ch 1

silver threw a rock at golds head. it bounced off. silence abounded, but surely gold felt it. he spun around and saw that red head sitting on a tree branch, doing a really freakish attempt at doing the innocent smile gig.

gold just turned around and pretended nothing had happened.

ch 2

silver was drinking a bottle of lemonade.

gold knew better.

ch 3

one night silver found gold sleeping. he learned gold was a deep sleeper after smacking him around a few times.

he poured a bottle of "lemonade" on gold and left.

ch4

silver was sitting on the sidewalk. gold came out of the pokemart, crept up behind silver, and said, "pokebaaallls."

ch 5

one day gold realized something.

he asked silver, just for input, "is it possible to catch humans?"

"i," silver said, "dont fucking know."

One day gold was walking and saw a guy cutting down a tree. he called the guy. when the guy turned around, gold threw a pokeball, and it smacked him in the face. But he caught him

ch6

gold walked up to silver and showed him his new pokemon.

Orgy time

ch7

gold sneezed all over on silver

ch 8

"I need to borrow some money," gold said one day.

After sneezing into his hands, silver dug through his pockets and gave some money to gold.

Gold wondered why they were wet

ch 9

Silver was sitting by himself, brooding. He never noticed when Gold came from behind to stand before him, his pole in his hands.

Gold said something to grab Silver's attention, and when he looked up to see Gold, he was slightly surprised.

Dressed in drag, Gold smiled down at Silver, put his pole in front of him, and shimmied down the pole.

He then ran away with Silver's wallet in his hands.

ch 10

gold called silver over to his house. Once silver got to the door, gold opened it and whipped silver's penis with his stick.

ch 11

"NO SOAP RADIO!" gold shouted one day.

"ha. Ha," said silver.

ch 12

"I wish," gold said one day, "that mine was bigger."

"penny," silver whispered.

ch 13

Gold looked down at his stomach and said, "The doctor told me I should start being more active. I've already gained an inch."

Silver, who was eating a hot dog, choked, and fell off his chair.

ch 14

"Say, Silver, know the similarity between a dick and religion?" Gold sat next to Silver as the other was reading his bible.

Silver didn't answer him, so Gold went on. "Both are shoved down your throat by a priest!"

Gold wasn't seen again for a long, long time.

ch 15

"hey wanna go to pe-"

"WHATEVER," silver shouted in gold's face

ch 16

"So, gold, want to see my special... item?" Silver said behind Gold in a husky voice.

ch 17

"god I love short stories," silver said.

"ur a short story," muttered gold.

ch 18

gold was sitting, eating an apple, when silver came out of the bathroom and quickly shut the door behind him. He was panting against the door.

"don't," silver wheezed, "go in there."

ch 19

"seaking," gold said.

"fuck no," silver said.

ch 20

gold and silver were at the beach. After they dressed, they both came out. Gold eyed silver, who was wearing swimming trunks.

Gold expected silver to wear a huge long-sleeved jacket, but instead said, "I expected to see u in a bikini."

ch 21

Gold and Silver were in a heated match. Both were down to their last and very best Pokemon. Gold threw out his Pokeball, shouting out, "Go! Explotaro!" The Pokeball soared through the air, going over Silver's hair and hitting his Mom's house window, going through the glass, and sending waves of shards into his mother's eyeballs.

"... Fuck," Silver said while Gold rolled around on the ground.

ch 22

"hey," gold breathed in silver's ear, "wanna try breeding?"

ch 23

"I," gold said one day, "really like pokemon so much."

ch 24

Silver looked down at Gold, who was attempting to sit down, but couldn't because of his sunburn on his ass.

Silver said, "Can't sit? STAND," and walked away from the sun-butt Pokemon trainer.

ch 25

the phone was ringing and silver answered.

"is ur pokemon running?" gold asked in another voice.

Silver checked and saw his sneasel on a trendmill.

"yes," silver replied.

"shit."

ch 26

Silver was training when the sudden urge to relieve himself hit him. He rushed towards a bush and got ready to take a tinkle when his Feraligator said, "I can see your weenie." Silver told him to shut the hell up

ch 27

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" SILVER SCREAMED AS HE GRABBED HIS HEAD. HIS BODY SHOOK SO HARD HIS HEAD SHOT OFF FROM HIS NECK AND SMASHED THROUGH THE CEILING. BLOOD WAS GUSHING FROM THE NECK SO BAD IT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS RAINING. THE BODY TUMBLED ABOUT AND TRIPPED ON A BANANA AND FELL OVER. HIS PENIS EXPLODED.

"uh," gold said, "I need a mop."

TBC


	2. roark is ugly

ch 28

three years later, silver underwent surgery. he now has an obsessive love for purple clothing and his idol is… roark.

ch 29

when silver was resting in the hospital bed, gold decided to superglue a red wig with a hard dildo sticking out on the sleeping patient.

it never came off, but silver did came.

ch 30

silver looked at gold's manly legs. he realized, "hey, gold, your shorts are black."

gold turned to silver. "yeah well," he said, "your face is gay."

silver also realized that gold no longer smelt of piss.

ch 31

A few days after Silver's release from the hospital, he and Gold decided to go for a short walk. As they were walking through the wilderness, they spotted a wild Pidgey.

"... AW FU- I FORGOT TO BRING POKEMON!" Gold yelled out suddenly, causing Silver to lose control over his bladder.

And out from ground popped Prof. Oak's head. "Nice day out today, hm?" Then, he realized they had no Pokeballs. With a sudden burst of chivalry rushing through his veins, Prof Oak cried out, "Quick, use my balls!" He suddenly made awkward choking noises and hacked up a Pokeball, spitting it in the direction of the bird. The Pidgey was hit in the head, suffering brain damage and entered into a comatose state.

"That's how you do shit," said the smug Professor.

ch 32

a wild rapidash saw silver's horn.

when silver was about to pull up his pants from his daily afternoon piss, he felt a horn of a horse rubbing "against" his rump-a-bump-bump and nibblin' his horn-a-nee-nee.

gold rolled by on a couple of pokeballs, singing, "you and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals~"

ch 33

gold and silver noticed a fort with a sign on it that says, 'no girls allowed.'

a girl with a big, white hat popped her head out and allowed gold to come in.

when silver was about to follow suit, kotone slapped him and told him, "GET BACK INTO THE KITCHEN, ROARK."

then gold screamed out from inside, "MAKE ME A SANDWICH."

ch 34

gold looked at kotone's chest and made a grab. thus, a punch in the noggin'.

"I WAS JUST GETTING A STARTER!" gold wailed.

ch 35

silver opened his door and found out that gold was knocking it. silver immediately received a slap. gold held up a glove.

"you left your glove under my bed."

ch 36

gold opened his door and found out that silver was knocking it. gold immediately received a slap. silver held up a pole

"you left your pole in my pants."

ch 37

one day gold looted from a suspicious rock a rare candy and popped it in his mouth. he had a hard time fitting into the urinal that night.

ch 38

gold proudly displayed his little pokemon walker device he got from a box. silver kicked him in the balls.

"POKEMON ARE REAL, YOU JACKASS."

ch 39

silver was giggling like jemaine after eating a shady leaf or thirteen. he walked throughout the towns, which no longer had obnoxious colors yet all looked… quite different. in fact, he had no idea where he was. he turned towards his feraligator, and a white box appeared above its head, which said, "F U."

ch 40

silver has finally found out gold's secret.

he went to gold's house, and when he met gold, he showed him all the gay porn silver found in gold's old backpack.

"you are so slow." gold rolled his eyes.

ch 41

gold was sitting outside the pokemon center, drinking a potion because it was cheaper than bottled water. at that moment he saw kotone on a yoshi, riding dirty.

gold spat out the potion he spent all his money on.

ch 42

gold and silver entered a chat room and gave all the girls their pokemon wifi codes. le wink wink.

ch 43

One night, Kotone entered a chatroom where two weirdos were going around giving out their "pokemon wifi codes". As she soon found out, there was no Pokemon involved.

ch 44

silver walked through the woods. he came across a herd of starving sentrets and gave them all a bible. they were like, "what the fuck is this shit?"

ch 45

"dude, what the hell do you believe in, anyway?" questioned gold one day to his trusted buttbuddy, silver.

"the miraculous powers of Arceusism, of course," retorted silver.

ch 46

"oh, oh, oh my. oh my-" silver couldn't even finish his sentence because he was violently shivering. he did manage an index finger aiming shakily at gold, who was eating a pbjigglypuff.

what gold didn't know what that there was a fourteen-foot giratina on his back.

ch 47

gold caught a pidgey and taught it how to fly because it was retarded. he wanted to go gamble, so he grabbed ahold of the bird's leg and commanded it to fly. due to gold's weight, he had to cut off his leg, and he bet and lost his leg.

ch 48

after getting his first badge, gold was called to the pokemon center to receive a pokemon egg from professor oak's assistant. right when he got it, he tripped and smashed the egg into a million, bloody pieces.

ch 49

silver was stealthily hanging onto the dark ceiling of professor elm's lab. he almost threw up all over the professor when he witnessed the man sexily stripping himself on the table.

ch 50

"when i get older," gold said, "i'm going to be a pokemon master."

"when i get older," silver said, "i hope you don't become a pokemon master."

ch 51

when silver visited gold one day, he noticed something particular about gold's typhlosion. it was standing, looking at him quite carefully, but there weren't any flames, and it wasn't breathing. silver decided to interrogate its trainer.

"oh," gold replied, "i stuffed him."

ch 52

right after falkner gave gold his first badge and he left the gym, silver swooped by and yoinked the badge from gold's hand, and threw it into the ocean.

ch 53

kotone gave silver her new wifi code. when he and gold got on one night to meet her, they instead met a very horny professor elm. silver and gold threw up on each other.

ch 54

"golly!" gold said to silver on a beautiful, sunday morning. "i hope this story won't end!"


	3. i am menopause

Ch 55

One day Gold was frolicking across the threshold when Silver came over to say hello.

Gold immediately stopped and yelled, "HOLY SHIT, ROARK, YOU LOOK HIDEOUS!"

The end.

Ch 56

silver was walking on this very merry day until poop landed on his head. He looked up and saw kotone using her pigtails as wings.

Ch 57

Silver was on his treadmill doing his weekly exercise routine at the Y when suddenly the treadmill gave a sudden jolt and began to move backwards. Silver looked behind him and saw that the treadmill was skidding along the carpet, out the doors, down the steps, and out into traffic.

Silver peed his pants.

Ch 58

when gold was at the radio tower to bring down the big man aka team rocket, silver ran by and was like what the fuck is this shit you're not part of team rocket you're a fag and ripped off gold's clothes like the muscular roark he is.

and it turned out that gold was really... fefe dobson

ch 59

Fefe Dobson was out with her Explotaro, getting some ice cream, when some kid came up behind her and started to drip snot from its nose.

Fefe looked at the kid in disgust and ordered a sundae for two, and Explotaro was so happy he pooted with excitement. The snotty kid and everyone behind them within a 12 foot radius was gone.

Ch 60

gold was on his mantike, surfing towards kanto, not knowing that his pokemon just killed steve irwin when in a different area silver was on the toilet, having exploding diarrhea. in fact it was so bad that when he flushed the 19th time, all the water in the world shrank

gold found himself on mud and went, "goddammit"

ch 61

Silver and Gold were in a heated discussion after another of their battles.

They were so engrossed in their fight that they didn't notice Gary Motherfucking Oak walk by and steal their backpacks filled with food. He left in its place

"Gary was here

Fefe Dobson is a loser."

When Gold and Silver finally realized their stuff was gone, they read the note, and Silver started to laugh.

"I'm a big man," he said.

Ch 62

gold was ready to capture ho-oh when he went up the tin tower

and right when he reached the tower, the bird used its giant wing to smack gold off the building.

Ch 63

As Gold was falling and screaming like a little girl, a giant cloud of smoke rose up to meet him. The amount of smoke was able to slow his fall so he could have a relatively easy plop to the ground.

When Gold looked over to see the cause of the cloud of smoke, he saw Morty smoking a doobie.

Ch 64

when gold and morty got formally acquainted, morty started giggling, took off his scarf, and started whipping gold with it until he ran out of the gym

ch 65

One day, Gold was just walking through the grass when all the sudden Entei appeared in the wild.

Not two seconds after, Raikou popped out and shook its cloudy ass.

Gold was very excited.

He began to call out his most trusted partner when Suicune jumped out from the bushes as well with Eusine riding on top, looking so happy. And he scared away the other legendaries. Gold watched as Eusine yelped happily as Suicune galloped along. then gold threw his hat to the ground.

"SON OF A BITCH."

ch 66

gold was walking to nowhere as usual until his phone rang. it was his mother who openly declared that she was addicted to gambling and used up her son's allowance. now theyre bankrupt and have no home. she hangs up

"well... shit," gold said.

Ch 67

Gold's mother was staring at her mail box for four hours and thirty-five until the mailman came around. When he did, she ran out and grabbed all of the letters he had, ramming him down to the ground. She tore through the letters until she found her son's daily spoils sent to her.

She ran to the back of the house, grabbed some berries, told the mailman still on the ground to take them to her son, and bought a Corvet.

Ch 68

when silver was a little boy, he was kidnapped. Now he's a homeless, angry babooshka.

Ch 69

this is chapter 69 because gold and silver are 69ing. Just kidding!

ch 70

gold was surrounded by pikachus. And he was only limited to catching 3 at a time.

After walking for 10 hours straight, he was ready for the right pikachu. In fact, his first pikachu was on a surfboard, riding the waves until it was knocked out by a pikachu with shades and balloons tied to it.

"DAN GILES FUNK IN DA HOWSE!" pikachu screams.

Ch 71

Overcame with emotion, Gold ran up to the Pikachu and high-fived that fucking mouse like it was his motherfucking job.

"SLAM DUNK, GILES FUNK!" he screamed in joy.

Ch 72

it was tuesday and you know what that means! gold flipped open his phone and dialed in a number.

Morty answered it and was like duuuude bro I am so baked right now come see me, and gold did and saw morty eating silver's hair as the red-haired douche was screaming for help.

Gold just sat down and started eating silver's feet.

i like ponyta," he said.

Ch 73

gold had never had such an opportunity presented before him. an opportunity laid out before him like a pair of juicy, greasy slabs of bacon put in front of a starving child.

"GOLD! quit shaking your ass at the ice cream truck man," silver exclaimed in utter shame.

gold passed gas before continuing. "YOU CAN'T STOP THIS FUNK."

ch 74

one day gold and silver were burping out the alphabet in front of pryce's gym. Pryce, unfortunately, was trying to leave to get a burger made out of his favorite ingredient, hermaphrodites. He was too weak, though, to get out the door and walk pass the children.

"you kiiiiddds," pryce whined. "i'm a 65-year-old man going through menopause. i practically live on viagra. why won't you let me pass?"

gold and silver just giggled like a couple of retarded kids. gold burped. then he finished pryce's sentence with, "gas."

pryce sighed behind the clear doors. he guessed that he has to resort to use his secret weapon. he slowly went down on his knees as his wrinkly hands screeched down against the door. he breathed really hard at silver, and whispered, "i'm a pedophile."

Ch 75

Silver was testing his mettle against a very difficult foe when suddenly the Electrode lost all reason to fight and succumbed to its suicidal tendencies, releasing its inner juices in a final Explosion attack.

Gold walked in and, so very surprised by the scene, pondered, "Who would waste all this Kool-Aid?" Gold then began to go in for a lick.

Silver didn't stop him.

Ch 76

there were two things that silver couldn't stand: fat people and atheists. when gold came over to silver's bush to play super smash brothers with him, silver screamed. he also poured alcohol on his best friend and set him on fire.

Ch 77

the day that silver broke into prof. elm's lab and stole totodile was a day he'd rather forget. not that he felt guilty about stealing, but that he had to sneak around as prof. elm attempted to strip kawaiily at his computer.

"i'm so kawaii!" professor elm exclaimed as he pinched his nipples.

ch 78

silver and gold were sitting on the couch when gold started choking. silver remembered what happened to him… what happened to his feet. silver's life flashed before his eyes as gold was dying… gasping for his last breath.

silver gathered the dying gold into his arms and went, "you should've checked my feet, bro. you should have checked my feet."

ch 79

today was december 24th, silver's birthday. it was a very beautiful day indeed when gold and kotone visited silver with a giant cross and started beating him with it.

"YOU WILL NEVER BE AS IMPORTANT AS JECEUS!" gold screamed as kotone pepper sprayed silver.

Ch 80

gold looked down at the paper the man in the suit gave him in secret. "but, I never paid for 80 male strippers to go to my house…"


End file.
